A Bit of Culture… eh?

I have told you many personal stories, that is fine and dandy. I have so many more, but I wanted to write about some culture type stuff as well, and I feel I have neglected you by not discussing this aspect.

Specifically, I wanted to talk about celebrations and ceremonies that take place for a family. I will try to be as organized as possible about this, and keep it simple. In Morocco, there are really generally four (maybe five) occasions that are celebrated. I will first discuss each individual occasion, and then I will discuss how and what occurs during the celebration. Luckily, the “what occurs during” is generally the same for all the occasions. So this allows me to break-out into really specific details.

Using the timeline of an individual life, I can break the events down pretty easy, so lets kick it:

Birth: This event is supposed to (according to tradition) take place 7 days after the birth of a child. The time varies, especially when a child is born early, and family has to travel from far around to the celebration. (I have also seen three weeks as well). This is a one or two day event.

Circumcision: For boys, obviously (maybe not so obvious, but I do know that Morocco is a country that does not have an issue with female circumcision, which is completely inhumane.) This event occurs at varying times, I am still not sure, generally around 4 years old. As I said, it varies depending on the family, and probably the money to have the celebration. This is a one day event.

Engagement/Marriage: I broke this off into a separate category (hence the four or five). I do not think that every family has separate engagement and marriage celebrations, but it does occur, especially when family is spread apart, and marriage does not take place during the typical marriage season (my host family for instance has done this recently.) Marriage Season usually is in the summer, between late May and August. This is a multi-day event.

Funeral: This is the final stage in life, and there is a mourning/celebration for the family. While much more somber than those above, it is still a gathering of relatives and family. A few points comparing between the states: A body is typically buried the day of or day after the death. While this is cultural, I think this stems from decomposition and health issues arising with dead/decaying bodies. Generally in rural areas, the family can be there within a day, so they can take part as well (*unlike in the states, where arrangements have to be made and it can be a week sometimes.)

So those are the four/five occasions that are celebrated within families. Now I will discuss the general setup of the celebrations, and what takes place. There are a few variables to keep in mind as I delve into this:

1.Conservative vs. Liberal – Conservative families separate the men and the women for celebrations, liberal families may have some or all of it together.

2.Close Family vs. Friends - Depending on the people are close family, they may keep it all together. If many friends and towns-people are attending, they may separate the sexes.

Guests at a celebration bring gifts. The most typical gift is a cone of sugar, or a bag of sugar. Money is also a typical and accepted gift. For a baby, some baby clothes can be typical as well.

When you arrive at the party, you (like anytime going into a house) greet the family, and tell them congrats for the event (maybe not the funeral…). You give them your gift, and then they show you into your respective room. I will discuss each of those rooms now.

If you are showed into the men’s room, you usually are in a nice communal room, and you sit down, and just talk with those around you. As more and more people show up, there is more and more talking. When the family deems the room is full, they start with the drinks/food.

I will step back for a minute to make some very important observations. In a communal room of men, depending on the size of the village, you may know all of the men, or just some of the men. There are religious Imams that attend (to lead the prayers), and there are important townspeople as well. With the men (As it is many times) this is very political. This is an opportunity to discuss important town events, gossip, and to “be seen.” So as people are coming into the room, they are invited or just sit by their friends, or they invite important people to sit by them. It truly is very political.

So now that everyone is in the room, the family designates one or two people (depending on the size of the party) to be tea pourers/makers for the men. These are ALWAYS respected and/or important people in the community. Usually there is a refusal at first, and other people are suggested. People try to be humble about it, but it is an honor to be asked to make and pour tea. Then before tea is poured for everyone, the Imams lead the group in a blessing.

After this, there are two rounds of tea. Same person pours, and blessings are said again. Then, it is time to eat. Tables are brought in, and then there are usually two or three courses, followed by a fruit dessert.

The first dish usually consists of mostly meat, usually the sheep that was slaughtered for the event. After this dish (sometimes two meat dishes) couscous is served as the final dish. There are variations of all of the dishes (how meat is prepared, how couscous it served.) but this is the general layout. There is a dessert of melon, which is in season during the summer months. Oh yeah, and this is another HUGE point. The men ALWAYS eat first before the women. The women are not allowed to eat before the men. Another point, the family does all of the serving the guests. Depending on how big the celebration is, the extended family does as well (and men serve the men, and both men and women serve the women). If it is close family, usually just the women serve and clean. After this is finished, there is another round of prayers/blessings for the event, and then tea is served. After the final tea, men are free to go.

If you are ushered into the woman’s room, you usually enter to loud music and dancing. Women dress up in their nicest djellabas (men do not usually.) There is a drum music, and sometimes pipe music as well. The women who wish to dance (At first, all of them) dance in a circle, and they chant various verses that are made up by the leader (maybe a hired musician, or family members). Women also let their hair down and twirl it around, and belly-dance as well. As I said, men are not typically aloud, as this is very risqué for the culture. This dancing goes on for hours sometimes (the men are eating). After the men finish eating, the women may or may not have tea, and then they are aloud to eat. They eat the same types of foods as the men. After eating, the women sometimes can go, or sometimes they get back together and dance some more. Sometimes, it is all of the family and super close friends dancing and celebrating, and non-family men have left. This can go on for hours (sometimes all night.) Then at some point, people get tired, or just stop.

This is the general way that everything is celebrated here. The only variation is the marriage celebration, where there is a procession of the bride and groom, and there are all sorts of gifts that are given and celebrated by the family. Typically, dates (the fruits) and various candies and foods are given for the husband/wife. Also, they drink from a glass of milk (and each serves the other by putting the glass to the lips of the other.) There is no kissing (that would be shameful), nor hand holding. The Bride and the Groom wear white outfits. Also, the tradition of the “morning after” blood on the sheet still occurs sometimes. Sometimes, it is just chicken blood. Henna is also used in most occasions, for the women. I have known of celebrations for marriage that have occurred for five days, where the first nights are for family, and the last two nights being first for men from outside the family, then the final night for mostly women (some men too), and the final night also having the large processional parade (of walking, then driving cars and honking horns).

I believe this covers the general types of celebrations and what occurs at the celebrations. I have been to all so far but a funeral, and it is really interesting to observe so many social and political aspects of the men’s side, and then the fun of the women’s side. Sometimes, the drum beats and chants gets too repetitive (it can last like 5 hours), but it is still great to see and interact with the family. I also must point this out. As a foreigner, myself and other volunteers get treated more like family then just friends. We usually are free to be with the men (unless you are a woman) and also with the family dancing (we are not viewed as preying upon the women). If there are many volunteers present (only occurs in training settings) we can eat together (men and women volunteers) at our own table. We sort of get special treatment in these situations, party because usually a volunteer is in the family. Sometimes we also help serve the men and the women, and help with the set-up. This is appreciated by the family (usually a host family).

I hope this gives you an insight on the celebrations of the culture, and you can use it to compare with the way we celebrate various occasions in certain religions or cultural settings. If you have questions or need more clarification, email me or comment on the post. Hope that you are all doing well, and talk to you soon!

Book of the Moment: Jared Diamond – “Collapse”
Album of the Moment: Eddie Vedder – “Into the Wild” Sountrack

Much Love!
Eric